Tag Archives: funny

Elingsh Uinervtisy Rscheearch

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

Wonderful Managers

There are good days and bad days. There are days you couldn’t imagine a worse place to work. The folowing are tales researched for your entertainment from the Internet and might imply there are still worse corners of the planet for you to work.

1:- “As of tomorrow, employers will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.”
This quote was from Fred at Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA.

2:- “What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter.
Lykes Lines Shipping

3:- E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or daa. It should be used only for company business.”

4:- “This project is so important, we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it.”
Advertising/Marketing Manager, United Parcel Service.

5:- “Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.”

6:- “No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We’ve been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and i’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them.”
R&D Supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.

7:- “My boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal that only neede corrections. She claims the disk I gave her was damaged and she couldn’t edit it. The disk I gave her was write-protected.”
CIO of Dell Computers

8:- Quote from the Boss “Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.”
Marketing Executive, Citrix Corporation

9:- My siste passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When i told my boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, “That would be better for me.”
Shipping Executive, FTD Florists

10:- “We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees.”
Switching Supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division

11:- We recently received a memo from senior management saying:“This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the memo mentioned above.”
Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division

12:- One day my boss asked me to submit a staus report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, “If I had wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!”
New Business Manager, Hallmark Greeting Cards

Joke

A well dressed business man goes into a rough bar. The bar man notices him as was too well dressed to be one of his normal customers.

The man orders a drink from the barman and while the barman is getting his drink the business man starts speaking into his hand like a telephone.

The barman being concerned due to some of the others costomers reactions if they saw this goes over to him with his drink and warns him that he should be careful about acting wierd. The business man is slightly misitified until the barman says about talking into your hand like that.

The business man laughs and says, oh you have it wrong, I was talking into my phone. The barman says no seriously if it continues I will throw you out. Then the business man says no really, it’s the latest technology not even offically released yet. I can show you whats you home number?

The barman is intrigued and jots his number down. The business man then punches his hand like he would dial on a mobile phone and holds his hand up to the barman like a phone. After having a chat with someone he finishes and chats to the business man about how amazing that is, but suggests as is a rough pub to keep use to a minimum.

The business man then needs the toilet after after being pointed to by the barman enters the toilet.

10 minutes later the barman notices he still hasn’t come out, but as pub is busy leaves it a bit longer before checking.

20 minutes later when the bar is quieter the business man still hasn’t come back out of the toilet so the barman goes to check.

He enters the toliet to find him spear-eagle against the wall, trousers around ankles and toilet paper protruding from his bottom.

Concerned he had been attacked the barman asks if he OK.

The business man replies “Yes Fine, I am waiting for a Fax”!!

Slogans

Thought I would have a laugh with some Blog Slogans at The Advertising Slogan Generator

A BLOG A Day Helps You Work, Rest and Play.
Make Someone Happy with a BLOG.
You Too Can Have A BLOG Like Mine.
The World’s Local BLOG.
Welcome To BLOG Country.
Four out of Five Dentists Recommend BLOG.
Prolongs Active BLOG.
It’s Just For Me And My BLOG.
Snap, Crackle and BLOG.
A Day Without BLOG is Like a Day Without Sunshine.
Monsieur, with this BLOG you are really spoiling us.
The Man From BLOG, he says “Yes”
Your Flexible BLOG.
The BLOG Of A New Generation.
To Our Members, We’re The Fourth BLOG.
Beanz, Meanz BLOG.
If You Like A Lot Of BLOG On Your Biscuit, Join Our Club.