Palaver

What a palaver. And I have lost loads of time. All because I suspected a computer of mine had a potential virus/trojan.

So as the computer had nothing critical, I decided to erase (almost) everything and start again. I say almost everything as the reinstall software was on the Hard Drive as I have no Win98SE CD.

Took me 3 times before I was happy. First time I didn’t make a clean install folder so everything was still there. Second time my lovely nephew turned off the PC half way through.

Third time it was almost finished and my nephew had to go to bed. All I had left was Internet Explorer 6 to install.

New Message Alert Tone

Last night I was wondering what new message alert tone to get for my Nokia 7650. I thought about it a bit then decided I wanted an animal sound.

After a bit of searching I found an Animal Sounds site, and settled eventually on a 24sec Nightingale Sound.

Already made a few heads turn!

Facts you should know

1. Money isn’t made out of paper; it’s made out of cotton.
2. The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottle represents the varieties of pickles the company once had.
3. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks-other wise it will digest itself.
4. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.
5. The dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle.
6. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
7. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.
8. A duck’s quack doesn’t echo. No one knows why.
9. 40% of McDonald’s profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
10. Every person has a unique tongue print.
11. The ‘spot’ on 7UP comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was albino.
12. 315 entries in Webster’s 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
13. During the chariot scene in ‘Ben Hur’ a small red car can be seen in the distance.
14. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
15. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.
16. Chocolate affects a dog’s heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog.
17. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
18. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark’s stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.
19. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn’t wear pants.
20. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.
21. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.
22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in ’87 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class.
23. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
24. Upper and lower case letters are named ‘upper’ and ‘lower’ because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the ‘upper case’ letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, ‘lower case’ letters.
25. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
26. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver.
27. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan, there was never a recorded Wendy before.
28. Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa’s lips.
29. If you pour a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.
30. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
31. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original “Halloween” was a Captain Kirk mask painted white.
32. The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
33. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
34. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can’t sink in quicksand.
35. Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It’s the same with apples.
36. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
37. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
38. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages them. (sorta obvious)

(I make no statement that any of these are true)

Wonderful Managers

There are good days and bad days. There are days you couldn’t imagine a worse place to work. The folowing are tales researched for your entertainment from the Internet and might imply there are still worse corners of the planet for you to work.

1:- “As of tomorrow, employers will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.”
This quote was from Fred at Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA.

2:- “What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter.
Lykes Lines Shipping

3:- E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or daa. It should be used only for company business.”

4:- “This project is so important, we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it.”
Advertising/Marketing Manager, United Parcel Service.

5:- “Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.”

6:- “No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We’ve been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and i’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them.”
R&D Supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.

7:- “My boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal that only neede corrections. She claims the disk I gave her was damaged and she couldn’t edit it. The disk I gave her was write-protected.”
CIO of Dell Computers

8:- Quote from the Boss “Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.”
Marketing Executive, Citrix Corporation

9:- My siste passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When i told my boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, “That would be better for me.”
Shipping Executive, FTD Florists

10:- “We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees.”
Switching Supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division

11:- We recently received a memo from senior management saying:“This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the memo mentioned above.”
Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division

12:- One day my boss asked me to submit a staus report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, “If I had wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!”
New Business Manager, Hallmark Greeting Cards

Joke

A well dressed business man goes into a rough bar. The bar man notices him as was too well dressed to be one of his normal customers.

The man orders a drink from the barman and while the barman is getting his drink the business man starts speaking into his hand like a telephone.

The barman being concerned due to some of the others costomers reactions if they saw this goes over to him with his drink and warns him that he should be careful about acting wierd. The business man is slightly misitified until the barman says about talking into your hand like that.

The business man laughs and says, oh you have it wrong, I was talking into my phone. The barman says no seriously if it continues I will throw you out. Then the business man says no really, it’s the latest technology not even offically released yet. I can show you whats you home number?

The barman is intrigued and jots his number down. The business man then punches his hand like he would dial on a mobile phone and holds his hand up to the barman like a phone. After having a chat with someone he finishes and chats to the business man about how amazing that is, but suggests as is a rough pub to keep use to a minimum.

The business man then needs the toilet after after being pointed to by the barman enters the toilet.

10 minutes later the barman notices he still hasn’t come out, but as pub is busy leaves it a bit longer before checking.

20 minutes later when the bar is quieter the business man still hasn’t come back out of the toilet so the barman goes to check.

He enters the toliet to find him spear-eagle against the wall, trousers around ankles and toilet paper protruding from his bottom.

Concerned he had been attacked the barman asks if he OK.

The business man replies “Yes Fine, I am waiting for a Fax”!!